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United fail to find their Range

United kicked off their Champions league campaign with a frustrating 0-0 draw against the Scottish champions Rangers. Despite claims he wouldn't underestimate the Glaswegian side, Ferguson's team selection seem to give the impression that the clash with Liverpool this Sunday is of a more paramount importance; resting 10 of the players that played their part in a monumental clash at Goodison last Saturday.

Prior to the game, however, anticipation began to build as the Rangers' fans filtered into Old Trafford after having to specially collect their tickets from Wigan's DW stadium due to scrupulous Police procedures. 

As the noise levels rose at kick off for what was promised to be one of the stand-out fixtures of the tournament, what actually followed was that of an anti-climax, were United spent most of the game trying to plough through Rangers impenetrable 10-man defence. Subsequently the only notable chances came from outside the 18-yard box and mainly from Darren Gibson. Ferguson conceded that his teams performance was a "blemish", but went on to defend his team selection saying " 7 or 8 of these players featured in the community shield".

The most distressing thing about the whole night for Man utd wasn't the result, it was a significant injury suffered by Antonio Valencia in the 60th minute. Today its been revealed that the Ecuadorian suffered a broken leg and a dislocated ankle, consequently ruling him out for the rest of the season.

United star in Roo-ins

Troubled Manchester United and England star Wayne Rooney was left out of United's trip to Everton yesterday following a gruesome week of tabloid allegations. The United boss claimed that he didn't want to subject Rooney to the kind of criticism he gets at his former club, saying "We made a decision simply because he gets terrible abuse here".

It was feared that Rooney may get a hostile reception at his old club after allegedly bedding two escorts at the same time. Its reported that while wife Colleen was 5-months pregnant, Rooney spent the night in a popular Manchester hotel with £1,200 a night prostitutes Jennifer Thompson and Helen Wood in a heated threesome.
The story broke last Sunday and has hit a climactic height, however, Ferguson believes that the United talisman will be in the right state of mind to face Rangers at Old Trafford on Tuesday.

Meanwhile the game at Goodison proved to be an absolute monumental clash as Everton saved the game in the dying seconds, with a headed goal from Tim Cahill and cracking volley from Mikel Ateta to bring the score back to 3-3. This was only the pinnacle of the the game after Pienaar broke the deadlock in the 38th minute. The lead was shot-lived however as Fletcher equalized on the stroke of half time. Further second half goals from Vidic and Berbatov seemed to put United in an untouchable position. But after the aforementioned events late on in the game the United boss was furious at his team for "throwing the game away".

Is Johnson England's new Ryan Giggs?

As England send out a statement of intent to the rest of Europe,  fans reflect on an exuberant and exquisite performance to be proud of. One buoyant, blossoming young talent especially caught the imagination of all England follower's with his craft, guile and originality, and he goes by the name of Adam Johnson.

 The noisy and boisterous "Come on England!" chants reverberated around the Karaiskakis Stadium as a gift of a pass from Steven Gerrard was acknowledged with an inspiring run from Johnson and elegantly planted in to the back of the net. This was just one of of 3 goals scored by England in a 3-1 thrashing of Switzerland as, significantly, Wayne Rooney broke the deadlock and Darren Bent similarly got his all important first goal in an England shirt.

However from an England perspective it was the revelation of the much craved for left footed, left winger that was most relieving and exciting. Ever since Ryan Giggs opted to play for Wales instead of England, the national team has been crying out for a left footed winger with the same natural instinct and raw pace that Giggs had and to a certain extent still has. Finally our prayers may have been answered this week with two impressive displayes from Adam Johnson. 

As the 23 year old  spent the first half of last season firing on all cylinders for Middlesbrough it became clearer that he wouldn't be spending much more time in the second tier of English football. Subsequently Man City splashed out 8 million to make sure Johnson switched the north-east for the north west, consequently joining one of the world's biggest spender's of recent times. Since then, the prosperous young winger has emerged on to the scene featuring in an impressive 14 premier league matches for 

City.

 

Make or break for England

As England prepare themselves for one of their toughest test's of their current campaign, England fans ask themselves- Are we really good enough?Are we world beaters?Does our manager even care?

Well results are what what will define our ambitions.Therefore a win against an exceptionally organized Swiss team will go along way towards re-juxtaposing England with success. If we win, we propel ourselves to peak form, consequently sending out a statement of authority, therefore striking fear into the minds of those below us; if we lose, we become the laughing stock of Europe, a walk in the park for anyone who can apply a bit of pressure.

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Football joke of the day

A Man City and Man United fan collide in a huge accident on the motorway. Both cars are a wreck, but both men are unhurt.

"This must be a sign from God that we are meant to be friends" says the City fan "I agree" replies the United fan

The City fan then returns to the wreckage of his car, and finds a bottle of whiskey he had been saving. 

"Look" he says to the united fan, "this must be another sign from God, we should drink this whiskey to celebrate our friendship and survival"

He hands the bottle over to the United fan who takes a large gulp from the bottle before passing it back to the City fan, who then puts the top back on & returns the bottle to his car.

"Aren't you having any?" asks the United fan. "No" replied the City fan, "I think I’ll wait til the Police get here."

Courtesy of http://www.laughfc.co.uk/stories/story.php?id=742

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